In fact tmr is my first semester 5 exam. people said that i become
abnormal when the exam is near. somehow i am agree with this statement, i
become more frustrated i guess. coz i wan it to finish FAST. cannot
wait till it finish but then i wil be very FREE after exam. it is more
like a cycling process.
Along these cycling process, i
become less stress to face the problem. even my family said so. they
mentioned that i should let go of first place in class. haha. but my
forever first place is OWN SELF. i am in second place actually.
i am glad that i am not kiasu like others lar. last
semester even got ppl vomit during the exam, then hor, when we are being
nice to share tips and ask those selfish person to share it out, they
even throw the tips paper on the paper after they copied. so how i
wonder where are these person made of? HEARTLESS. wat i can said is one
type of same rice eaten by thousand of people. they are plenty of
different type of WEIRD people around.
for me, i used
to tell my fren that this is nice, tat is nice. even ppl seems nice to
me. in end they wil concluded me that everything AND everyone R nice to
me. nothing is not good for me.
Along this cycling
process, I FALL DOWN. and RISE AGAIN. THE ONLY thing i learn is protect
myself.... even how i trust people RIGHT NOW i totally understand what
is meant by protect myself and being a little tiny bit of selfish. HAHA~
the first sentences i mentioned to YEEKI and DEBRA on first day of
revision week.
Thanks to the cycling process!
Mission completed: SC EVENT
Finally...SPORT carnival 2011 is over. i felt relieve from that.
thanks for the experience that taught me many lessons. at least i fall down and stand back up again. thanks for the family support and peer support from my GROUP JULY 09.
sincerely appreciated for the memories that we had together when we are getting through the difficult part. spending day till evening time to finish up the decoration and information board for blood donation, organ donation and crime alert awareness booth. at least what we have done, i believe that many people have seen it include outsider. we did prove to ourself that we did have the potential to make a difference. u ALL are GREAT friend. for once, i stil holding the faith to believe that we are holding group unity well.
Many thousand of thanks for ppl that being there with me all the times when i am fall and when i am down.
Thanks for the people that went to psychiatric posting with me. asking me to SABAH alice. RELAX alice.
Thanks for bearing with my speedy anger. most of time i will tell u all that ..." i am not angry, i am just talking loud only."
Thanks for the memories with JULY 09. the difficult part have make us to grow stronger in bonding. MISSION COMPLETE for semester 5 with tear and hurt. but mend the broken one with our love within each one of us.
thanks for the experience that taught me many lessons. at least i fall down and stand back up again. thanks for the family support and peer support from my GROUP JULY 09.
sincerely appreciated for the memories that we had together when we are getting through the difficult part. spending day till evening time to finish up the decoration and information board for blood donation, organ donation and crime alert awareness booth. at least what we have done, i believe that many people have seen it include outsider. we did prove to ourself that we did have the potential to make a difference. u ALL are GREAT friend. for once, i stil holding the faith to believe that we are holding group unity well.
Many thousand of thanks for ppl that being there with me all the times when i am fall and when i am down.
Thanks for the people that went to psychiatric posting with me. asking me to SABAH alice. RELAX alice.
Thanks for bearing with my speedy anger. most of time i will tell u all that ..." i am not angry, i am just talking loud only."
Thanks for the memories with JULY 09. the difficult part have make us to grow stronger in bonding. MISSION COMPLETE for semester 5 with tear and hurt. but mend the broken one with our love within each one of us.
mentally tired!
recently, mentally tired due to assignment and carnival event. it is not easy to handle a event especially the part of handle people issues. luckily coming back from HBUK, i can consider myself as mentally prepared. thank you to my fren that always stay beside me and trying their very BEST to give me 110% support.
i am inspired by them that i cannot expect everyone to be like me. we all have own rate. so give some spare for people to grow and learn. so i trust in it. and it is so true that i cannot expect everything to turn out to be perfect before i start to enjoy my life. RIGHT NOW. I WAN TO ENJOY MY MOMENT.
to be honest i dont even care wat other say about US. we are in a TEAM.even i get hurt, i stil believe that i can affect u all to make a difference in ourself and to others.
MY
fren told me that i have no life. my answer to her is i am the particle
give ppl true advise rather than talking nosense. i have a life with
true fren actually. even though i am always embed myself in books but
actually i am preparing myself for help those that in need. even though i
use my time to doing event rather than focus fully on my study, coz i
believe there is more than we al can do for this world. :) SEE BIG. AND
DO BIG.
this event going to be our part of memories. and i promise myself that i will get through it no matter wat. with the power of ABOVE ALL, he will prepare the BEST of all for me.
THIS SONG HAVE KNOCK MY HEAD TO RE-CHARGE MYSELF!
上帝能夠
詞、曲：Djohan Handojo／中譯：蔡英娜詩歌來源：異象工場(約書亞)／上帝能夠專輯(大衛帳幕的榮耀6)
那些眼睛 未曾看過的事情
還有耳朵 未曾聽過的事
甚至心裡 還沒有想過的事
上帝早已預備 給那些愛祂的百姓
上帝能夠 成就一切不可能的事情
亙古至今 直到永遠 祂的大能永不改變
『 神能照著運行在我們心裏的大力充充足足地成就一切，超過我們所求所想的。』<弗 3:20>
everything is going to be OK?
Recently, i was in a dilemma mood to take up the position to lead people to do the sport carnival event. one thing is STRESS. and another thing is IS IT WORTH FOR ME TO SACRIFICE?.
in college i realize people are either in a state of "liking power and position", or in a state of "i dont even care what the earth going out there as long as i am getting good result" or even in another state " not power not sacrifice". it is hard to work with people. it is even hard to work WITHOUT people what if there is no one out there are actually have the passion to help.
sedated myself in a pool of anesthesia drug that making me believe that "everything is going be OK".
in college i realize people are either in a state of "liking power and position", or in a state of "i dont even care what the earth going out there as long as i am getting good result" or even in another state " not power not sacrifice". it is hard to work with people. it is even hard to work WITHOUT people what if there is no one out there are actually have the passion to help.
sedated myself in a pool of anesthesia drug that making me believe that "everything is going be OK".
Updated of my thought: good mental health
Currently posting in cardiac ward, this is my third times posted to there, i totally not familiar to this ward at all. week 3 of my semester 5 posting at the moment. beginning to feel fear of becoming a Real staff nurse. seriously!
my sis told me tat i should be more concern about our own self. nobody in this world actually care even i did the best for many thing. haha...it kinda cruel....what to do...reality rite? in between maintaining my happiness and surviving in realistic world. A VERY good mental health can move me further!!
one thing for sure, a booster of LIVING must be injected into my life. live like a normal human. after i studies about mental health. i realised more about our own inward feeling and thought. for me disease is not worse compare to a human THOUGHT. coz human thought is unexpectedly predictable. therefore it is very important to have a GOOD mental health. well in order to TOUCH other as a good future staff nurse, i should begin with my own self rite? i need to implant my happiness and true to other, to cheer for other's living. hahaha....sound great rite??
i meant... sometimes, i am very very mood swing. therefore tips to share...
rite now, these are the methods i used to relieve my stress. indeed, i am a negative person with lots of complicate thought. a risk factor to be fall under depression. if down slope of mood continue for 2 weeks, u will be categories under depression. i dont think everyone can live happily ever after, therefore. self aware of this and accept it and prevent it. tat's all.
my sis told me tat i should be more concern about our own self. nobody in this world actually care even i did the best for many thing. haha...it kinda cruel....what to do...reality rite? in between maintaining my happiness and surviving in realistic world. A VERY good mental health can move me further!!
one thing for sure, a booster of LIVING must be injected into my life. live like a normal human. after i studies about mental health. i realised more about our own inward feeling and thought. for me disease is not worse compare to a human THOUGHT. coz human thought is unexpectedly predictable. therefore it is very important to have a GOOD mental health. well in order to TOUCH other as a good future staff nurse, i should begin with my own self rite? i need to implant my happiness and true to other, to cheer for other's living. hahaha....sound great rite??
i meant... sometimes, i am very very mood swing. therefore tips to share...
- when i am notice tat i am in down slope of the mood, my sign and symptom begin are not care for own personal stuff. e.g lazy to cook la...lazy to move lar...dont know wat to do la..lying on bed and insist myself to sleep la...SO...at this times, i will tell myself ok allow myself in this situation for 15 min and after tat this is not more ME. i should begin with a NEW me. RENEW IS A good thing rite? press restart and here we go start over again to do house chore, to cook, to laugh, to move.some people dont even realise there is a restart button.
- find a person tat can listen to ur mood status. express it and solve it. for me, my crazy floor mates.
- find one type of food store in the fridge and fill ur stomach with it. for me...a cold drink wil do.
- whenever u are start to nagging on unfair matter and anger on people unable to meet ur satisfaction, CONTROL ur emotion. breathe in and out....turn away from the trigger substances. it is a good method, trust me.
- to love myself by buying stuff.
- taking a long shower meanwhile dance and sing in the bathroom.
- dance a special move with ur close people...and laugh out very loud.
- play games with ur fren. interactive games with human. not ur laptop.
- watch movie together with fren
- do something different from routine.
rite now, these are the methods i used to relieve my stress. indeed, i am a negative person with lots of complicate thought. a risk factor to be fall under depression. if down slope of mood continue for 2 weeks, u will be categories under depression. i dont think everyone can live happily ever after, therefore. self aware of this and accept it and prevent it. tat's all.
Me and my dear
NONE n moving on
Recently, my cousin from oversea came back to malaysia. i was planning to go back and spent a good times with him. we were so close during our childhood times. so i called him and just wan to give him a warm welcome back to malaysia. but then what i get is the EGOISM n pathetic conversation from him. he expect me to remember/ memorize when his family back to malaysia n how long he going to spent here. pls lar.....it's a waste of memory of my brain. in the end, i HANG UP the phone. iiiisssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....a high education person doesnt meant that they really knowing what is meant by Respect n Manner.
another thing is one of my lost contact childhood friend RE-CONTACT ME via fb. it kinda weird since we havent talk for 2 to 3 years plus. funny rite? and they even invite me for BBQ after no contact for 4 years plus. well i rejected their invitation since i unable to make it due to my clinical posting. due to my accumulation resistance that i learnt, i just guess my memory T cell work well to fight against anyone of them due to the aspect of thinking.
yap...who care more. all of them are not going to make any difference to my life or ANY IMPACT. so indeed. i sedated myself to NOTHING. AND life is moving on. who care more or less.
Thanks to my family giving me a boost inj of motivation toward better future.
another thing is one of my lost contact childhood friend RE-CONTACT ME via fb. it kinda weird since we havent talk for 2 to 3 years plus. funny rite? and they even invite me for BBQ after no contact for 4 years plus. well i rejected their invitation since i unable to make it due to my clinical posting. due to my accumulation resistance that i learnt, i just guess my memory T cell work well to fight against anyone of them due to the aspect of thinking.
yap...who care more. all of them are not going to make any difference to my life or ANY IMPACT. so indeed. i sedated myself to NOTHING. AND life is moving on. who care more or less.
Thanks to my family giving me a boost inj of motivation toward better future.
justice?
Today in our free period of class, me and my gang were discussed about politic thing whether we all have register to vote for our country. to be honest, i have been implanted in my mindset that care for nothing about it coz we are not capable going to make any changes about it. but still malaysia is our only motherland as the root of the tree where is planted on.
talking about justice, sometimes i am dilemma that dealing with this subject. in other point of view, i am a dare to try person in other word, aggressive. thus, i am classified under ----> rocket party---> alice in the rocket land.
there was once, my fren share one fact based topic with me, she insists that SDP (single donor platelet) that transfused to the dengue patient is pre withdrawn from patient according to what she know from the HDU staff nurse. due to my curiosity about this FALSE face based thingy, i told her what she know about SDP. (a blood product that contain high concentration of platelet that pooled from multiple pack of whole blood product). a simple statement that i made is how could the dengue patient want to withdrawn their platelet coz they already pre- predicted what she will get soon. but then this fren of mine, replied that i should not ARGUE with her since this is a fact tat heard from a senior staff nurse.
FIRST, i am clearly not arguing with her. i am just want to prevent her from any harm by readjusted what she should know about it.
my gang told me that i shouldnt argue, let it be if i care no much about it. let she continue have this mindset. -----> is that mean i should be MUTE for most of thing instead of being a DUMB person taking risk????
actually there is a additional thing happened in my college regarding to grading point for certain paper that i wasnt satisfied. this is something that i really find disappointed when everyone waiting for u to make a changes, but they can take advantages on it.
when this bring up as an issues, they become shattered and insisted that there arent problem within. with limited power i can see now, i become compensated to this issue due to i care nothing about the grading point as long as i try my very best even though nothing in return, but hey I HAVE A JOB, WHO CARE FOR THE GRADING POINT that make my result slip looked totally unacceptable. right>?
question is WHERE IS THE JUSTICE??
something i would like to share, a history maker Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that i truly admired. a person stand up for the struggling nation. a person that even though everything is going to be tough but still... he willing to scarified for his life toward justice of nation. his"I Have a Dream" speech and the faith he holding up to tremendously implanted in my heart.
(You know my friends, there comes a time when people get tired of being trampled by the iron feet of oppression ... If we are wrong, the Supreme Court of this nation is wrong. If we are wrong, the Constitution of the United States is wrong. And if we are wrong, God Almighty is wrong. If we are wrong, Jesus of Nazareth was merely a utopian dreamer that never came down to Earth. If we are wrong, justice is a lie, love has no meaning. And we are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until "justice runs down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream." )>>>>>>from wikiquotes
if there was a person believe in such big dream, i truly hope that my classmates can have this faith as well to make a change?
talking about justice, sometimes i am dilemma that dealing with this subject. in other point of view, i am a dare to try person in other word, aggressive. thus, i am classified under ----> rocket party---> alice in the rocket land.
there was once, my fren share one fact based topic with me, she insists that SDP (single donor platelet) that transfused to the dengue patient is pre withdrawn from patient according to what she know from the HDU staff nurse. due to my curiosity about this FALSE face based thingy, i told her what she know about SDP. (a blood product that contain high concentration of platelet that pooled from multiple pack of whole blood product). a simple statement that i made is how could the dengue patient want to withdrawn their platelet coz they already pre- predicted what she will get soon. but then this fren of mine, replied that i should not ARGUE with her since this is a fact tat heard from a senior staff nurse.
FIRST, i am clearly not arguing with her. i am just want to prevent her from any harm by readjusted what she should know about it.
my gang told me that i shouldnt argue, let it be if i care no much about it. let she continue have this mindset. -----> is that mean i should be MUTE for most of thing instead of being a DUMB person taking risk????
actually there is a additional thing happened in my college regarding to grading point for certain paper that i wasnt satisfied. this is something that i really find disappointed when everyone waiting for u to make a changes, but they can take advantages on it.
when this bring up as an issues, they become shattered and insisted that there arent problem within. with limited power i can see now, i become compensated to this issue due to i care nothing about the grading point as long as i try my very best even though nothing in return, but hey I HAVE A JOB, WHO CARE FOR THE GRADING POINT that make my result slip looked totally unacceptable. right>?
question is WHERE IS THE JUSTICE??
something i would like to share, a history maker Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that i truly admired. a person stand up for the struggling nation. a person that even though everything is going to be tough but still... he willing to scarified for his life toward justice of nation. his"I Have a Dream" speech and the faith he holding up to tremendously implanted in my heart.
(You know my friends, there comes a time when people get tired of being trampled by the iron feet of oppression ... If we are wrong, the Supreme Court of this nation is wrong. If we are wrong, the Constitution of the United States is wrong. And if we are wrong, God Almighty is wrong. If we are wrong, Jesus of Nazareth was merely a utopian dreamer that never came down to Earth. If we are wrong, justice is a lie, love has no meaning. And we are determined here in Montgomery to work and fight until "justice runs down like water, and righteousness like a mighty stream." )>>>>>>from wikiquotes
if there was a person believe in such big dream, i truly hope that my classmates can have this faith as well to make a change?
Motive
The people i very miss at the moment.
Everytime before hang up the phone, the most important question from me : u got miss me or not?
both of them surely will replied: " i missing u a lot ar."
sometimes, i felt sorry for my ah b (third sister) coz we are not always there for her due the distance. Holiday session=first day we go back till the day we leave the house, almost everyday we will have counseling session with her. i guess she fed up and get bored of the "advice" we gave her but then she stil know that we love more than anyone else. my only "Emo" sista!
my ah boy lei... ... we only can get to know his condition through phone conversation. whether he being naughty or cheeky. every visit back home, he surely give us a lot of unforgettable moment. very talkative till we all almost vomit and headache during the times we drove to seremban from hometown. The funny moment when he treat himself as GPS in order to find out the way back to my shop when my parent forget to fetch him from tuition center. too many thing i miss out.
Missing them both too much more. very glad to have them both accompany my parent and bring so many happiness to my family. in fact they both are the Motive of my life. to become a Better person and show them the good way toward life.
NObody, everybody. Somebody
Recently, i learn a great thing which i want to share with u all. hmm... ...
i found that when nobody doing something, and everybody waiting for somebody to do. it always come back to the somebody. nobody want to take up a big burden i guess.
When i have nobody to support me, i have no choice to be the somebody.
so I TOLD all my fren...when we are ready to do something bigger than we thought we capable of, never speak a discouraging word to each other. then we shall be the somebody ready to fight!
i found that when nobody doing something, and everybody waiting for somebody to do. it always come back to the somebody. nobody want to take up a big burden i guess.
When i have nobody to support me, i have no choice to be the somebody.
so I TOLD all my fren...when we are ready to do something bigger than we thought we capable of, never speak a discouraging word to each other. then we shall be the somebody ready to fight!
Be grateful for everything
Sometimes i just asking myself. why should i take nursing in my life? worried for entry requirement for LJM day and night. it like a nightmare haunted me. this nightmare is only include me nothing else. Nobody understand the feeling of it. i totally hate the feeling of telling others about my condition, but no one there to stand in my way.
this place becomes so damn COLD.
in some other way, this difficult journey made me become a indifferent ONE. i did everything by myself. i become more independent in solving problem. i should be grateful that i had made this far throughout the journey. at least i got the Yayasan sime darby sponsorship to support my financial and i successfully made this far in the midway of completion of my course. and i am still alive and healthy. Right?
i telling myself to LOOK at the bright side. be thankful and grateful for everything!!!
this place becomes so damn COLD.
in some other way, this difficult journey made me become a indifferent ONE. i did everything by myself. i become more independent in solving problem. i should be grateful that i had made this far throughout the journey. at least i got the Yayasan sime darby sponsorship to support my financial and i successfully made this far in the midway of completion of my course. and i am still alive and healthy. Right?
i telling myself to LOOK at the bright side. be thankful and grateful for everything!!!
cont' Semester 5
My final year in nursing. Looking forward for the day I am becoming to a real nurse. At this moment, I still have a constant passion on this career. I looking for MORE.
Nowadays, getting good result isn’t a goal for me anymore. Coz I know result doesn’t prove anything in nursing. Even u are on the top, but u getting same pay, same life as nurse and same nursing license. I just felt we are just on the running and chasing competition. Which is meaningless that people are sedated to it. I guess. In the end, nothing gain but meaningless again. Right now, I had good friends and I can laugh out loud. I think I can make a good motive on people (this is what my lecturer told me.) I felt I am on the path. But there will be more I can search for. Gain for. If I/ could I / would I dare to do it.
today getting to know from my lecturer that i am required to sit for SPM Bm, sigh... i am struggling but at this moment i am stil able to handle it. the thing is i might not sit for exam at the same times as my classmates which is a shame. i did cry which is not a good solution. coincidentally i got LJM nursing division contact no, the clerk asked me to e-mail about my matter to the head. indeed i did it. hopefully i can make it through.
:( no longer exist.
i thought u are different from others for all these while.
i forced myself to believe that!
and yet the truth is u are changed or u are remain, no longer the same as before.
the way u are try to keep away from my vision, u trying to hide. i know.
we no longer can share dream, no longer to see dream in bigger view.
the last time u who trigger my heart to believe the real friendship coz we are similar.
i tried to make u to know that u are not invisible, and u are special, but yet
i felt that there is no different whether i exist in ur surrounding.
u telling me that college life is just a part of life process, filled with gossip. and
u dont need anyone coz u are just going to finish and leave this place. i try to show u that life can be better and better if u are NOT surrounded by any restriction. bt yet u are not aware.
i am tried to make the miracle happen and i am tried to keep u as a good fren of mine in my point of view. bt the truth is these all are just going to faded away. between us ? there is nothing left for me to value. ENOUGH is the word that i can find to filled my doubt on u.
life is moving on, and in this journey, u are not the person can enlighten my life. so ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
AND I keep telling myself without u, i stil can live better. without me, u stil can live ur constant life.
i forced myself to believe that!
and yet the truth is u are changed or u are remain, no longer the same as before.
the way u are try to keep away from my vision, u trying to hide. i know.
we no longer can share dream, no longer to see dream in bigger view.
the last time u who trigger my heart to believe the real friendship coz we are similar.
i tried to make u to know that u are not invisible, and u are special, but yet
i felt that there is no different whether i exist in ur surrounding.
u telling me that college life is just a part of life process, filled with gossip. and
u dont need anyone coz u are just going to finish and leave this place. i try to show u that life can be better and better if u are NOT surrounded by any restriction. bt yet u are not aware.
i am tried to make the miracle happen and i am tried to keep u as a good fren of mine in my point of view. bt the truth is these all are just going to faded away. between us ? there is nothing left for me to value. ENOUGH is the word that i can find to filled my doubt on u.
life is moving on, and in this journey, u are not the person can enlighten my life. so ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
AND I keep telling myself without u, i stil can live better. without me, u stil can live ur constant life.
GIVE than TAKE
went back home for 3 days off. it was absolutely relax staying in my hometown. throwing away my trouble and worry, there is nothing left except happiness i realizing that my dad and mom are really getting old wit wrinkles and some newly developed habit " manjong".
sometimes human are just take thing as granted. never satisfied with their needs. or they didnt even know wat is their limit of needs. same goes to me. i taking part of my parent's life away coz they are spend so much of times trying their best to give me a GOOD life.
my dad would spend 8 hours for stream a coconut chicken soup for us and my mum will listen to our achievable but ongoing dream. if i need anything, they will buy the affordable thing for me. during the critical times when i was worrying about my tuition fee, they always tell me tat everything can be solve by money is NOT a problem, the only thing tat is cannot solve by money is a BIG problem. in deep down, they are actually having financial problem.
i always told my frenz tat i had a great parent that give me A BIG HOPE. they neva fail in believe in me. they always seeing thing in big view even though they are not educated person. they always tell me to try, neva give up even though they cannot guide me to there. i stil remember my dad told me that i cannot help u in sponsorship interview but i can bring u there. anywhere that i can find dream and hope, my parent are the one lead me there. is it good to have people to SUPPORT?
now i am growing up.....i realize tat i should be more responsible in GIVE than TAKE.
to be honest. money really cannot buy LOVE. dont ever tink that give money can satisfied everything. do u able to take ur love out and put in action?? action is more important to share ur love. i wonder whether myself would cook for my parent?? or just rather than give them money asking them to stay happy and survive in the later life. thinking of these.....of course i dont want to be tat kind of people....therefore i train myself to SLOOOOOOOOOOW DOWN.
Slowing down ur pathway is just to letting urself to see the surrounding more clearly. city people are just too busy of realizing. everything also wan fast......talk also wan fast....walk also wan fast. if u are reading my blog....i hope u know or realize how much love are u able to give without limit to ur surrounding people?? first...to urself?? do u love urself?? second to ur family?? third to ur fren?? do something special to the people tat u value, ACT IT OUT!!!
sometimes human are just take thing as granted. never satisfied with their needs. or they didnt even know wat is their limit of needs. same goes to me. i taking part of my parent's life away coz they are spend so much of times trying their best to give me a GOOD life.
my dad would spend 8 hours for stream a coconut chicken soup for us and my mum will listen to our achievable but ongoing dream. if i need anything, they will buy the affordable thing for me. during the critical times when i was worrying about my tuition fee, they always tell me tat everything can be solve by money is NOT a problem, the only thing tat is cannot solve by money is a BIG problem. in deep down, they are actually having financial problem.
i always told my frenz tat i had a great parent that give me A BIG HOPE. they neva fail in believe in me. they always seeing thing in big view even though they are not educated person. they always tell me to try, neva give up even though they cannot guide me to there. i stil remember my dad told me that i cannot help u in sponsorship interview but i can bring u there. anywhere that i can find dream and hope, my parent are the one lead me there. is it good to have people to SUPPORT?
now i am growing up.....i realize tat i should be more responsible in GIVE than TAKE.
to be honest. money really cannot buy LOVE. dont ever tink that give money can satisfied everything. do u able to take ur love out and put in action?? action is more important to share ur love. i wonder whether myself would cook for my parent?? or just rather than give them money asking them to stay happy and survive in the later life. thinking of these.....of course i dont want to be tat kind of people....therefore i train myself to SLOOOOOOOOOOW DOWN.
Slowing down ur pathway is just to letting urself to see the surrounding more clearly. city people are just too busy of realizing. everything also wan fast......talk also wan fast....walk also wan fast. if u are reading my blog....i hope u know or realize how much love are u able to give without limit to ur surrounding people?? first...to urself?? do u love urself?? second to ur family?? third to ur fren?? do something special to the people tat u value, ACT IT OUT!!!
Community Health Nursing week
For our semester 4, we need to spend 1 months in government clinic. the reason being is we need to get expose to the community outside and learn to give suitable health education to antenatal, postnatal, school health service, home visiting etc etc. indeed our college does provide the good opportunity for us to expose to outside world rather than keep us in isolated.
first week, everyone (first batch of student) telling me that governement nurse are very garang lar....they dont really like private college student nurse. community health nursing is boring, it just a enjoying time moment coz of short duration of working hours. on top of that, some lecturer in charge are very strict on this particular subject. indeed my whole idea of fantasy about CHN is just blowing away. night filled with tiredness and pimple on face. totally stress out due to over ruin excitement i guess.
in fact, this week i am just having fun times in the government clinic. first day, i had headache about getting/ adapt to the NEW environment. not to mention that, the clinic is fulled with mama and babies. census is FULL. then hor....due to my language barrier, of course i am freaking out for it. our CI in charge she didnt bother about my language, she just hope that i can learn whatever i can during this clinical posting. (and i am born from a background that my parent always telling me that u fink ppl in malaysia are not educated one ar? haha they still boleh understand english de.) totally agree on that, never fake urself being the smartie!!!
next, i had friend that willing to help me, they didnt discriminate me as a non- malay speaker but they are those people are willing to solve my problem. i always believe u have nothing to lose when u have bunch of people are there to support. SPECIAL THANX to my ROSBI, MAS, SARE, SHEILA, SUBATRA, NURAN and SHAI. I know we going to ROCK this place. haha..
i found that the nurse there are nice and so do the KKM student. they are helpful and willing to teach us when we have difficult times. ideology about the previous other people experience in there is totally wrong. i am really love to work there. tremendous experience!!!!
4th day of CHN, i took out my brave heart and step forward to request from SN to give immunization for babies. they replied me that whether i have the confidence to do so. of course i had but i need their supervision lar. never try u never know. it turned out that i got the chance to give many babies DTap and ATT to antenatal mother. *grinning smile* seriously, be humble to request isnt so difficult. and i am soooo happy..............................
just want to share my simple happiness here...
first week, everyone (first batch of student) telling me that governement nurse are very garang lar....they dont really like private college student nurse. community health nursing is boring, it just a enjoying time moment coz of short duration of working hours. on top of that, some lecturer in charge are very strict on this particular subject. indeed my whole idea of fantasy about CHN is just blowing away. night filled with tiredness and pimple on face. totally stress out due to over ruin excitement i guess.
in fact, this week i am just having fun times in the government clinic. first day, i had headache about getting/ adapt to the NEW environment. not to mention that, the clinic is fulled with mama and babies. census is FULL. then hor....due to my language barrier, of course i am freaking out for it. our CI in charge she didnt bother about my language, she just hope that i can learn whatever i can during this clinical posting. (and i am born from a background that my parent always telling me that u fink ppl in malaysia are not educated one ar? haha they still boleh understand english de.) totally agree on that, never fake urself being the smartie!!!
next, i had friend that willing to help me, they didnt discriminate me as a non- malay speaker but they are those people are willing to solve my problem. i always believe u have nothing to lose when u have bunch of people are there to support. SPECIAL THANX to my ROSBI, MAS, SARE, SHEILA, SUBATRA, NURAN and SHAI. I know we going to ROCK this place. haha..
i found that the nurse there are nice and so do the KKM student. they are helpful and willing to teach us when we have difficult times. ideology about the previous other people experience in there is totally wrong. i am really love to work there. tremendous experience!!!!
4th day of CHN, i took out my brave heart and step forward to request from SN to give immunization for babies. they replied me that whether i have the confidence to do so. of course i had but i need their supervision lar. never try u never know. it turned out that i got the chance to give many babies DTap and ATT to antenatal mother. *grinning smile* seriously, be humble to request isnt so difficult. and i am soooo happy..............................
just want to share my simple happiness here...
OPC experience
Tremendous experience in OPC. yes standing from 8 to 5 pm is extremely tired. but the knowledge gain is unexpectedly high. by listening to doc explain to patient according to their respective condition. u can actually learn and implant the knowledge into our brain cells. on top of that, the way they put the scientific thingy in simple term, it really impress moi. such as learning can be fun through their explaination of pharmacologic drug effect to body, how yeast is influence us, how a lifestyle changed could lead a better life. a lot more ... ... ... ... i having a crazy idea for not going to anywhere but stay in there and learn. haha....
well week 3 next.....HEMODIALYSIS. here i come. indeed i am NOT looking forward to it. but WAT TO DO. i should learn to survive. NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!! be excite for LIFE PROCESS.
well week 3 next.....HEMODIALYSIS. here i come. indeed i am NOT looking forward to it. but WAT TO DO. i should learn to survive. NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!! be excite for LIFE PROCESS.
energy?!!
START from this week, clinical posting start. for our whole class have no mood yet coz after all the hectic seminar, BIG WALK event, we seem like exhausted. nevertheless, we have learn something that we couldn't imagine.
Thank you TO our beloved Ms Hehma who never refuse to give us help. always there for us and trust us for giving the BEST. because of the confidence that she gave us, NOTHING IS POSSIBLE. there is thousand of thing that i should learn from her, especially the way u willing to sitting down and teach us to right pathway, being generous to everyone, strike for the excellence etc etc.
NOW.....when we start to think back to clinical practices, just worry we could not cope with it. since we are now labelled as SENIOR. especially go through these 10 weeks block, it seems like i am learning nothing from it. Awwwww...... didnt really able to focus in the class.
where is my energy?
Thank you TO our beloved Ms Hehma who never refuse to give us help. always there for us and trust us for giving the BEST. because of the confidence that she gave us, NOTHING IS POSSIBLE. there is thousand of thing that i should learn from her, especially the way u willing to sitting down and teach us to right pathway, being generous to everyone, strike for the excellence etc etc.
NOW.....when we start to think back to clinical practices, just worry we could not cope with it. since we are now labelled as SENIOR. especially go through these 10 weeks block, it seems like i am learning nothing from it. Awwwww...... didnt really able to focus in the class.
where is my energy?
be a dreamer!
when i was young, my father used to told me that if i want to be successful in my life, i must be a dreamer. dare to dream. yeah... i am stil believing it.
everything start from a simple crazy idea. and if i stil have the courage. then carry on a little more. then sparking might be happening. if i stil hold this as strong faithfully, i might be the first person to achieve the target. or might be second tho?
today my lecturer told me that she hope that there will be residential home for elderly setting up. so that in the future, there wil be a place for the retiree to gather up and a place for them to enjoy/ experience life. from her lecture, i really did learnt a lot and i know that she doesnt want us to sitting in a comfort zone. in the future, we are the bunch of people going to influence the world. she is like the inspiring lighthouse to me. if we wan to do something different, we should start with people surrounding us.
there was once i helped an old lady crossing the road and i sending her to enter her home. then i found out that she having severe diabetes and taking multiple medication. she present with legs is swollen, loss of balance, small wound around her abdomen. after she found out that i am a student nurse, she showed me the medication she currently taking. and i being told that she running out of medication and she take the OTC from pharmacy rather than went for follow up. at the times, i just give health education to her such as advise her for proper dieting, teaching proper way of self injection, emphasize on follow up and follow proper medicine regime prescribed by doc. tat's all i did. actually her house is just opposite to my shop. i barely spoken to her as well. following by i told my mom what i did to this old lady. the response i get from my mom is i shouldn't be so "CLEVER" by teaching people what to do.
in my perception, i know myself havent learn endocrine diseases yet, i only teach the old lady what i basic knowing about. till now, i still felt sorry for this lady, coz i didnt spare my love to her. if i love her a little bit more, i should find out more and visit her oftenly.
without regret in my life, i think i know what i can do next. thanks to the lecturer reminded me that Spare our love to people surrounding.
everything start from a simple crazy idea. and if i stil have the courage. then carry on a little more. then sparking might be happening. if i stil hold this as strong faithfully, i might be the first person to achieve the target. or might be second tho?
today my lecturer told me that she hope that there will be residential home for elderly setting up. so that in the future, there wil be a place for the retiree to gather up and a place for them to enjoy/ experience life. from her lecture, i really did learnt a lot and i know that she doesnt want us to sitting in a comfort zone. in the future, we are the bunch of people going to influence the world. she is like the inspiring lighthouse to me. if we wan to do something different, we should start with people surrounding us.
there was once i helped an old lady crossing the road and i sending her to enter her home. then i found out that she having severe diabetes and taking multiple medication. she present with legs is swollen, loss of balance, small wound around her abdomen. after she found out that i am a student nurse, she showed me the medication she currently taking. and i being told that she running out of medication and she take the OTC from pharmacy rather than went for follow up. at the times, i just give health education to her such as advise her for proper dieting, teaching proper way of self injection, emphasize on follow up and follow proper medicine regime prescribed by doc. tat's all i did. actually her house is just opposite to my shop. i barely spoken to her as well. following by i told my mom what i did to this old lady. the response i get from my mom is i shouldn't be so "CLEVER" by teaching people what to do.
in my perception, i know myself havent learn endocrine diseases yet, i only teach the old lady what i basic knowing about. till now, i still felt sorry for this lady, coz i didnt spare my love to her. if i love her a little bit more, i should find out more and visit her oftenly.
without regret in my life, i think i know what i can do next. thanks to the lecturer reminded me that Spare our love to people surrounding.
being indifferent.
CNY IS OVER..........Week 5 of semester 4. damn stress. 2 seminars, CHN ASSIGNMENT, Bahasa kebangsaan assignment, GU assignment....semester 4 is totally not a honeymoon semester.
Went for the BM class- first lesson. well i have no comment for it. was planning to tell the lecturer about my special condition. indeed i didnt. what can he do for me even though i telling this. so i let it be. learn to tolerate with the process.
my tutor in charge already send my cert to LJM for checking my results and determine my fate whether need to sit for the SPM BM or not. PRAY HARD for miracle to happen.
currently holding a position as COMMANDER for our own group seminar.actually i told the class president that i couldn't manage for this position as president. therefore she changed my position as commander. it might sound better as just order people to do thing. the word makes no different to me. it going to be challenging. hopefully it will turn out to good outcomes.
in fact i prefer to organize a seminar with people that i familiar with e.g my classmate. coz we know each other well enough through conflict and mistake. comparing to another seminar i am going to organize, i feel alone for handle things since i have to mix with people from another semester. no one there to share and double checks for better improvement. i know people trust me for potential but i really need people there to point out the mistake.
anyway.....i believe this going to be my learning process. i wil definitely learn to enjoy it. the below motivation picture from OLivia Sew's blogspot. i dont blame for there is no love within people surrounding, no improvement in nursing standard in here, this is because we have to the SOMEONE to do so. TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Expect for Something Impossible.
SEMESTER 4. times flies. 2 more semester to go, then i will be STAFF NURSE. i felt that when u are thinking of the future, it seems like everything is is flashing fast. which is good. and i really enjoy it.
moved out of my old room. the reason being i wanna "change", rather than stay in ONE point. i guess everything must need courage for starting the engine, there is no point i am waiting for miracle to happen if i dont even have the motive. i learn not to predict, not to expect for what i want. this sems, i wanna to be transform. learn to expect for something thrown my mind OUT.
firstly, I TAKE up the courage and told the gal that i was dislike that she should ENJOY HER LIFE rather than treat her life like a RACE. even though i get good results, but doesnt means that i put too much stress on myself. i love knowledge and indeed last sems i put more efforts on my team members. compare me to her, i look for big vision than staying in some point. SO, i share all these with her. hopefully, she can understand lar~
have been helping a new gal for overcome the difficulties for adapting to new environment in this college. i went through and i suffered for the fear. being a bit ke po chi for sorting the hostel matter for her. now she living in my old room.
this few days, tidying up my room, my room is really packed with BOOKs. especially BM spm books from all other fren. i cannot reject but to accept. haha~ 原來我很幸福.
going to join the grand seminar which is organised by our college. well indeed, i doubt about my ability. this times, my 1 MALAYSIA fren are all chosen since the lecturer said that we are hardly to be separate. i have the support from them and we definitely can make a new page for this journey. well, we all having the same thought, we have no lose for joining it, coz we can SCAN THEIR BRAIN CELLS as GAIN. haha~
moved out of my old room. the reason being i wanna "change", rather than stay in ONE point. i guess everything must need courage for starting the engine, there is no point i am waiting for miracle to happen if i dont even have the motive. i learn not to predict, not to expect for what i want. this sems, i wanna to be transform. learn to expect for something thrown my mind OUT.
firstly, I TAKE up the courage and told the gal that i was dislike that she should ENJOY HER LIFE rather than treat her life like a RACE. even though i get good results, but doesnt means that i put too much stress on myself. i love knowledge and indeed last sems i put more efforts on my team members. compare me to her, i look for big vision than staying in some point. SO, i share all these with her. hopefully, she can understand lar~
have been helping a new gal for overcome the difficulties for adapting to new environment in this college. i went through and i suffered for the fear. being a bit ke po chi for sorting the hostel matter for her. now she living in my old room.
this few days, tidying up my room, my room is really packed with BOOKs. especially BM spm books from all other fren. i cannot reject but to accept. haha~ 原來我很幸福.
going to join the grand seminar which is organised by our college. well indeed, i doubt about my ability. this times, my 1 MALAYSIA fren are all chosen since the lecturer said that we are hardly to be separate. i have the support from them and we definitely can make a new page for this journey. well, we all having the same thought, we have no lose for joining it, coz we can SCAN THEIR BRAIN CELLS as GAIN. haha~
